Designing Your Life

The Need to Stop Placing Blame

// August 26th, 2008 // No Comments » // Personal Development

I work as a cashier at a home improvement store and I meet a lot of people each day. It never fails to amaze me how often people get upset about things that were caused by themselves. They might forget to write down the number of how many screws they get and become angry at me for their mistake, or they could get the wrong item and become frustrated when they find out that I had already rung up the item that they failed to tell me that they did not want. This gives me insight on the importance of taking responsibility for my actions. We shouldn’t be so quick to blame people for our own mistakes.

Often we are quick to take out our anger on someone else, and sometimes this person had no part in creating the anger. They are only people that are close by at the time. We refuse to accept that problems are our faults. This would hurt our ego if we were able to admit that we made a mistake. So, we try to cover up the mistake that we made by blaming others. This is like trying to yell at a tree when you crashed your car into it. You blame the tree, but really the accident was your fault.

The downfalls of blaming others

If you continue to blame others, then how can you ever improve yourself? You expect other people to improve since they are the ones that are fault for your problems. If someone runs into you while you were trying to text message someone then you blame them for running into you while you weren’t watching. You go on texting after this since you don’t think your behavior was at fault. You aren’t taking the blame, or admitting that you have a fault. It reminds me of the twelve step program where you must admit that you are an alcoholic. You have to take blame for your actions to be able to change

The reasons for blaming others

You are taking the blame away from yourself. Sometimes we do this enough that we really begin to believe it. We truly believe it was the clerk’s fault that the item won’t ring up, instead of the reason being our fault for failing to write down the correct number. We are able to be perfect, because we never made the mistake. We are putting up a fake show for others around us. We want others to think that we are perfect, so we try to convince others that we are never at fault, or else we can’t be perfect. We try to repress the idea that we failed at something. This translates into many areas in life. We blame the train for being slow, while we should have left earlier. It doesn’t make sense to blame the wind for blowing over your paper house, instead you should think harder for ways to protect against the wind.

The benefits of stop blaming others

Once you are able to blame yourself then you can take the steps to stop from messing up. You don’t have to get angry at yourself, but accept the small inconveniences. We shouldn’t direct our anger towards others, and we shouldn’t direct it towards ourselves. We should learn to accept these things, but we cannot accept until we stop placing blame. You aren’t accepting something fully if you are still blaming the other person. Once you take action to place the blame on yourself, then you can take the action to let it go. Your car might break down, but you don’t need to blame the car, or the road. Just remember that you should have had it tuned up a while ago, but you kept putting it off.You focusing on the internal world works a lot better than focusing totally on the external world. All the improvements will come from the inside. You shouldn’t punish yourself, but merely accept the situation. You are able to do more from focusing on the internal world, since you have full control over that. You don’t have full control over the external world.

Sometimes we are unable to see that we reacted without knowing all the facts. We might not know that the man did not know he was being rude by leaning on your new car. We didn’t know that the woman was rushing to get to the hospital when she ran into someone and ran off without an apology. We don’t always know the full details and we are quick to jump to conclusions that it is their fault, but in the end it is our fault for jumping to the conclusion in the first place. We are the ones to blame, and we should blame ourselves for it. We shouldn’t beat ourselves up for it, but we should at least place blame on the right person, since it isn’t going to be any help to us to blame someone else. It is merely a waste our time. Guard your time wisely; it is far more valuable than to be spent on anger.

5 Incredible Traits of the Joker that Everyone Should Have

// August 23rd, 2008 // No Comments » // Personal Development

The Joker in The Dark Night invokes intense emotions. He is quite the force for Batman to fight because of his overwhelming personality. But, the question comes to mind what makes the Joker so successful? He might be the villain, but I find many admirable things about him. Here is a list of traits that each of us might take note of.

1.    Money doesn’t buy happiness

The moment I saw the Joker burn his money I knew there was a deep lesson in him. Can you ever say that you would do that? Now, we must remember the Joker was a wee bit insane; however the Joker showed that his actions provided enough pleasure rather than the profit. He had found his calling in life which gave him enough happiness that money couldn’t buy. He only needed the little things in life (bullets and explosives). Is there anything in your life that you would be willing to not make much money doing? Could you follow your dream of photography if it meant that you would only be making enough to live on? Your dreams might cost you money, but they might make you far happier than money.

2.    Passion

Passion separates the novice from the expert. This is the secret ingredient to success. If you are passionate (obsessed) enough then you can achieve it. The Joker easily shows his passion to cause chaos. He has nothing else to do but cause chaos. He doesn’t work 9 to 5 and save his trouble making time until the weekend. He drops everything and follows his dream. He lives for the games he plays. He is able to do anything because he is passionate enough to do anything to achieve his goals. When have you found something to be that passionate about? Did you drop –everything- for it? It seems unrealistic to give up life for a passion, but look around you. The Olympics are almost over, but each of those people has a passion. They do try to train for the Olympics after work. They don’t only devote an hour a day to training. They go full force, and they become the best in the world. The same is true for people like Bobby Fischer. He didn’t play chess a few games a day. He lived for chess. When he wasn’t playing chess, he was thinking about chess. Imagine what you could do if you were that passionate with something you love


3.    Best to not try if you will give up

The Joker doesn’t decide to give up once he is thrown in jail. He doesn’t give up when he can’t seem to get to Batman. He keeps on trying. He states that he will keep up this game with Batman until the end. He doesn’t allow setbacks to deter him. He gets foiled, but he just gets up with a laugh and goes out to do it again. Failure is just a process that leads to success if you keep trying. You can’t expect to succeed in every endeavor the first time; instead you can expect to gain ground if you keep trying.  You lose a game, so play again and you keep playing until you win.  If you are thinking of starting your own business then you have to be able to take the failures. You will have to keep adjusting until you start making a profit. Failure isn’t forever.

4.    Creativity can go a long way

You can’t expect to cause terror in a whole city with a simple gun or shooting. You have to do things that aren’t expected and will be exciting. This is how the best people will make success for them. They make a new path. Robbing a bank? Why not use a school bus to blend in. If the Joker would have used a normal getaway then he would have been caught. The best things are possible if you are able to be creative and apply new ideas to old techniques. You can make money from home, so why not think of a creative way to make more money from home. Perhaps you find a better product to market from home. You have to set yourself from the rest of the group in order to achieve more.  You have to find creative ways to achieve your dreams, because sometimes you won’t have the choice otherwise. You can’t afford to spend a month in Europe? Get creative and decide to  get a contact in Europe and offer your services, such as finding a person that needs someone to clean their house and they have an extra room. You have enough money to eat on and entertain yourself, but the cost of finding a room is harder. You just solved that problem with a creative approach instead of just getting a cheap hotel room. Find a new path when everyone else is treading the same old path.

5.    A laugh can go a long way

An article about the Joker isn’t complete without mentioning laughter. He doesn’t get stressed out. He finds the fun in each situation. He is so entertaining because he is always in a joking mood. This is his character, but it makes sense. He is able to have fun and play his games. He truly enjoys what he does, which is shown. He can laugh when others wouldn’t laugh. He can laugh in the face of death. He always finds a reason to have a laugh. I think we could all use a little laughter a bit more. If we take ourselves too seriously then we will miss enjoying life. You are wasting your life being depressed when you could be happy. You can still find the funny things in the worst situations. Life is funny, so why so serious?

I am not suggesting that anyone should try to copy the Joker. His actions aren’t admirable, but his personality traits are something that should be examined. He is able to be the villain that you can’t help but feel in awe of. He does a better job than Batman in invoking emotion, I think. So, think a little about these traits and see if you can apply any to your life. Go out and find your passion, and please have a laugh while doing it.