Scary Thing to Do: Talk to Strangers
// January 8th, 2009 // No Comments » // Personal Development, relationships
I am quite the introverted person. I do like to spend a majority of my time alone and I don’t meet a lot of new people due to this. Relationships are to be valued and I want to try to make many more in the upcoming months. My new habit will be attempting to make conversation with at least one new person a day. It isn’t a large goal, but it is a bit hard for me.
The biggest issue is attempting to find the right place to approach people. I don’t know if I would have success trying to make conversation in a supermarket or a café. I would like to stay away from parties if possible, since I don’t care for them. Although I must admit they do provide a perfect place to meet new people which are one of the draws to them.
First, I have to figure out the type of person I want to meet . I won’t enjoy myself if I am meeting the wrong type of person. I like someone who I can carry on a conversation. I am most likely to find these people in cafés, gyms, and class. I doubt I would have as much success going to a party or a concert. These are good places to meet people, but I wouldn’t share the interest with the person. I might be lucky to find someone with common interests but I rather have a higher chance of success. So, first step is to get a hobby and find a gathering place.
Next is to slowly ease into talking to total strangers. Start with ‘hi’ and work your way up . You can say hi to anyone, this doesn’t take much effort or risk but it provides a place to start. You might get lucky and find a talkative person that will provide the conversation with a mere introduction, other times you will have to work harder to establish a conversation.
If you have taken a step to try to carry on a conversation then the choice of topic might be hard. This is one of the hardest parts for me. It is awesome if you find some unique thing to open with. Perhaps you should start with people that provide some type of conversation opener, such as unique clothing, jewelry, action, and so on. You won’t have to worry as much as what to talk about which will allow you to slowly gain more confidence. As you feel more comfortable you can approach people that are harder to start a conversation with. Major events are always an easy choice as well as their likes and dislikes. Test the waters; throw out a lot of different subjects that interest you, such as talk briefly about traveling, exercising, diet, and so on. When you hit a common interest then go from there. I may approach someone in the supermarket if they are buying a unique product and then ask about their diet. This can easily lead to a conversation to my diet of raw food. Raw food is a great way to have a conversation because many people will be interested how I even survive. Find common ground and go from there.
If you are lucky enough to carry on a conversation then you might want to suggest another meeting if you are really hitting it off or some form of future communication. Thanks to the internet you might find this part easy. Asking if you can connect with them on Facebook or Myspace is an easy non-threatening way to have a future connection with them. If they don’t have these then it is possible to ask for a phone number if you feel comfortable enough. This step isn’t required of course, if you don’t feel there is any reason to continue talking then you can thank them for the chat and be on your way. It’s up to you how to proceed.
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Tips to talking to strangers
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You will be rejected quite a bit. It stings even if you know it will happen, but you miss 100% of the shots you never take. You won’t know that person unless you try to talk to them. If they reject your efforts then you are merely where you would be if you hadn’t even tried. You will have some people that you really connect with and these make the efforts worthwhile.
People are friendly . I don’t know many people that are rude enough to tell you off for even trying to talk to them. Most will engage in a conversation of some sort and won’t insult you.
You won’t be laughed at. The person that you approach will most likely feel more embarrassed about what they say then worrying about what you say. In the end you aren’t likely to meet the person again if it is a random place so there aren’t any lasting effects. If you try to meet people in class then you will still see them regularly but you won’t have to interact with them again unless you choose to. Sooner or later you will go your separate ways. People won’t gossip about you as the weird one that talks to people. If anything you will be admired for taking the effort.
Making new friends open up different ideas and perspectives. You might want to try to meet people you normally wouldn’t talk to. You might be surprised how much you have in common after all. Leave comments on any attempts or suggestions.
Photo by pjmorse
