Let’s assume that you aren’t hungry, thirsty, in pain, or any other problems at this moment. You are completely happy with your life in this present moment. If you achieved that level of happiness then you wouldn’t need to buy anything. You would be completely satisfied in your current state, so you wouldn’t need to alter it with material goods. Your desire for possessions is a way to bring you pleasure, but most likely not happiness.

Pleasure v. Happiness

There is a difference from pleasure and happiness. Sometimes things that bring us pleasure will make us unhappy, such as eating that last donut when you are worried about your weight. You can receive pleasure from buying items, but you might end up in debt which will lead to unhappiness. At other times it is harder to identify the difference of pleasure and happiness. Will that iPhone really bring happiness or a short term pleasure? Can a bigger car really provide happiness? Can seeing your TV from the other side of your house make you happy? These are often short term pleasures (until you see the bill perhaps) don’t bring a lasting sense of happiness. Happiness will come from within you, rather than from the objects around you. You can get a feeling of happiness being around your loved ones, but are you truly happy with the time you spend with the television.

Attachment to Objects

Not only do you gain pleasure from buying the item, but you are attached to each item. It isn’t easy to get rid of things that you use often, such as a computer, television, stove, and more. If anything happens to these items then there is a feeling of pain. The degree of pain will vary depending on how attached you are to an item. You might not care if you lose a book that you didn’t care much about, but you will feel some pain if you try to turn on the computer and it doesn’t function correctly. These things can hold you back from happiness, because you are preoccupied with the attachment to the objects around you. You can’t be happy if you are worried about your broken car. In some cases you need the item, such as a car, but you can get by with less. You can always ride a bike, then if it breaks you can fix it easily if it is essential to you. The less you have, the less to worry about.

Post Materialism

So, if objects don’t truly make you happy and you might even feel pain because of them, then why keep so many around. I am not suggesting you should sell everything and move into the woods with just a tent, but there is most likely room for improvement unless you are reading this from your local library and do live in a tent. We often disregard advice to only buy things we need rather than want, but you can easily confuse wants with needs. You may think you need the car, but you can survive with a bike. You may think a large house is needed, but you could downgrade your house which also allows you to own less stuff. I find it to be very inspiring to think of people that are content only with the items that can fit in a backpack. This lifestyle doesn’t look pleasant since you will be giving up comfort. You do adapt though, and in the end is it less comfort? You might have to bike to work, but you will feel better. You might sell your television, but you find new hobbies with the free time. These objects make life nice, for a limited time, but they are not needed. You can still be happy without them. You might just have a room with a box, candle, and a book. Who says there isn’t happiness there?

Larger Picture: Your Life

Each time you buy something, then you are trading your time or effort for that thing. That car could take many many hours of your life. You could feed your materialistic needs in exchange for your time, or you could live with less but find things that make you happy. Is the new iPhone worth the 25 hour of your life ($199 cost of the iPhone 3G divided by 7.95, the minimum wage in Oregon.) or would you rather spend that time with friends or doing something you enjoy. You literally just spent 25 hours of your life on some item that might not even bring you 25 hours of pleasure. I have had friends that didn’t have a job during school. They often wouldn’t be able to purchase things they wanted, but they survived fine. They seemed to be the most happy because my other friends that had jobs and these things they wanted would often complain how much they dislike their job. You waste a little part of your life with each object you by and even by the objects you already own.

Every day you are influenced by advertisements, people, and other things to tell you want you want. It is tough to overcome the nagging voice that tells you that you need all the items. Often you will have a strong attachment to your current items and a strong pull towards new items. When you think of times that you are happiest then I doubt it was the time that you bought your TV or new kitchen. Try to use your time for happy moments, not to work for short pleasure inducing objects.

Today is Blog Action Day. The theme is poverty, and I think this is a wonderful topic to write on.

A little boy was on a beach after a storm. Thousands of starfish had washed ashore, and he picked up one after another and threw them back into the sea. A man watched him work and after some time said to the boy, “Look at all these starfish. You’re never going to be able to save them all. Do you think all your work will make a difference?” The boy thought for a minute as he looked up and down the beach. “I don’t know,” he said as he picked up another starfish and flung it into the brine, “but it sure will make a difference to this one!”

You can change the world, one person at a time

    It is a hard to know that you can’t change the world (perhaps you can.), but you will not change anything if you don’t try. You could be living without a home or any shelter. You could be hungry half the time and wonder when your next meal will be. Now, if you someone comes up to you and offers to take you to lunch or give you some money, would this make any difference? Yes, it would. It might not end world hunger, but it would help you which is very important. Think of how someone else will feel. You made a difference to that person.

    How many people do you have to save to be considered changing the world, a few hundred a few thousand, a few million, every single person in the world? You cannot just draw the line and call that changing the world, because you do change the world even if it is only one person you help. If you are from the United States then I assume you have heard that your vote counts, that one vote out of over 300 million other possible votes. If you believe your vote counts, then you shouldn’t need any encouragement to know that one person can make a difference. Those that are not so sure then think that if you encourage enough people to vote then your vote does make an impact. If five million people do not vote because they do not think that their vote counts, then it truly doesn’t count, but those five million votes do count if you do cast them. You have to make the effort because you aren’t the only one that is thinking that you don’t matter. Many other people are thinking that same thing, but if you do try then at least you did something. Who knows, if you have the courage to try to make a difference then other people might be doing the exact same thing. Who knows how many people could be making an impact.

    It can be hard to know that you can’t make a huge impact. This is easily discouraging, but don’t allow it to not let you take action. You can make a difference to one person and that is important for each person. Try playing at FreeRice, this might not seem like a big change, but you just gave someone food. They think that is pretty awesome, so you should too. You are only one person, so how would you feel if no one paid attention to you, just the group you were in. No one would help you because they can’t help everyone. You would greatly appreciate the help, so someone that you do help will appreciate it also. You can make a difference to someone, and that is important.

     Your actions do make a change in this world. This change may be small, or this change might be large. No matter what, it still is a change. The dollar that you donate could feed four children. This could make the difference of life and death; I hope that is a good enough difference for you. Every single life is important to not only themselves but the people around them. You could change someone’s world, if not the world. Don’t let anyone stop you from making an impact on our world. We are too preoccupied with the concern if we will make a large impact, but any impact is an impact. Your actions could do more than you ever dream possible. You might only help one person, you might only influence one person, but you made their life better and then they may make someone else’s life better. This starts a chain reaction which could go on for awhile.

     You have to make an effort. That is the simple first. Don’t worry about the size of your influence; instead focus on just doing something. It can be simple or it can be as grand as starting something like Blog Action Day. You are not limited, but you just have to start somewhere. Go donate your time, money, possessions, or even ideas. The effort starts with you. Poverty cannot be solved without help from you. Yes, you. I mean this to every ‘you’ out there. Go help.

How often have you thought that you should have listened to someone? This could come in many forms, such as forgetting an important fact due to not actively listening to the person or you might wish you had taken their advice if you had listened. I find myself very guilty of using conversations to express myself. This isn’t a bad thing, but I wait for my turn to speak rather than focusing on the person speaking. We often like to share our stories and opinions and this becomes a problem when we fail to listen to other stories and opinions because we are focused on ourselves. If we just stop trying to hog the conversation and listen more then we could find new perspectives and insight that we wouldn’t have noticed otherwise.

When we get into a conversation about opposing ideas we are more likely to be focused on how to prove our point rather than using active listening to consider the other side. Find any conversation about the presidential election with opposing ideas and you will have a hard time finding someone that is truly willing to listen to the other side. This means that we are missing important information because we aren’t listening to it. There is the assumption that our viewpoint is right, so we don’t allow the other viewpoint. You aren’t hurting only yourself, but others too.

The conversations that you have are very important. They are your main interaction with others, so you would want to make the most out of those conversations. By trying to improve your active listening skills you will be giving yourself many benefits. Here are a few:

Others notice - I can tell when someone isn’t trying to listen to what I have to say. It isn’t a nice feeling because it feels like my opinion doesn’t matter. I am less likely to value the other person’s opinion if they do not take the time to value mine. This can hurt relationships you have with others. Many couples complain that their partner doesn’t listen to them enough. This tends to hurt others feelings.

Give a little and you get more back - I am sure you have the greatest story to tell and you are dying to tell it once your friend is done telling his story. The problem is that your friend doesn’t feel like you listened to his story so he isn’t going to listen as hard to your story. The more interested you seem in other people then the more interested they will be in you. There must be one person that you love talking to because they seem so intrigued in your stories. Once they start telling you something then you feel more interested because they made some effort so you can too.

You miss out on great details - We all learn best from others. I know that I can fix a computer better if someone tells me how. There are multiple opportunities to learn things in each conversation. You can learn a little about politics, a different job, awesome hobbies, and much more. Let’s say that Jane is talking about her weekend and finding a great place to pick fruit for a low cost, but you aren’t actively listening since you want to tell her about your weekend. You missed the chance for some great cheap fruit. You can’t experience everything in life, so you have to live through other people. This means that you have to really take interest in their activities as If you did them. The hiking trip that John took had to be great though you might not get to do it, but you can listen about the details of it to feel like you got to experience a little part of it. If you succeed doing everything that you are told about then that is quite the extraordinary feat, but until that happens then you can get tiny experiences through listening to others.

Anticipating what will be said isn’t effective - Some people are predictable, but that doesn’t mean that they will always be predictable. You can’t be in someone else’s head, so you shouldn’t try. You will start to hear the things that you think they will say rather than the things that are actually being said. You make yourself bored with the conversation because you assume that it is predictable. Try to act as if this is something totally new to you. Don’t focus on what will be said you should focus on what is being said.

Knowing the full story helps solve problems - Not having all the details can make a problem seem different than it really should be. You might be helping a friend with a relationship problem, but if you interrupt before the friend is done then you will not have all the details needed to really be much of a help. We all like to try to help quickly and we assume that we can fill in the blanks if we know the first part (see last tip: don’t assume you know what they will say). If someone starts off saying that they can’t find time for their work then you might assume they are lacking productivity skills, but in reality they are quite productive but commit to more things than they should. You won’t know this if you assume they need some help with productivity skills. Wait until the very end to throw in your two cents.

We often talk to learn about other things. This could be a simple conversation about hobbies or a business meeting to form a new plan. A conversation is an exchange of ideas and opinions. You already know exactly what you will be saying, so why is it so interesting? You have heard it, because you thought it! You should be bored with what you will say and far more interested in the other person since you don’t know what they will say. Often times you don’t even need to really throw in your own opinions or ideas. If they don’t benefit the conversation then try to see if you can get by with just the other person talking. This means that you have your attention on them, use clarifying questions, ask open ended questions, and inquire. Only ask questions rather than statements. See if you can limit your talking to the bare minimum and see the difference in your conversations and the way others act.

I have found that the less time that I have to complete something the more productive I am with that time. For example, we can all remember the times in school that you had weeks to finish a project. There was plenty of time to complete the project before the due date, but I am almost sure that the weekend before the project was due (most likely that Monday) was the time that most of the project was done. You can blame most of the wasted time on procrastination, but I find that I act the same way in other areas. I will be more likely to eat some blueberries for a snack if there is a lot of them, but I will think twice about eating them if there are only a few left. I am more likely to cherish the last few far more than I did the first few. My time management is similar to this. If I have a week to work then I am not stressed to produce much, but I will focus a lot more if I have only a day to complete something. We can use this to our advantage though.

Using the limited time you have effectively

It isn’t always a bad thing that you wait until the last minute to start a project, but it leads to more stress and often times a less than desirable outcome. I know that I produce my worst work when I don’t have time to revise or even rethink the idea. Although you wait until the last minute you do complete the project, so it isn’t always a bad thing. First we have to understand that we will work harder when time is limited, so it makes sense to limit time more often. We are not as likely to waste as much time when there is less time to waste. If there is only an hour until a deadline, then if the project is not finished I am sure that very little time of that hour is wasted. On the other hand, if you have a day to complete it then the project is less likely to be worked on. We are not pressed for time, so we are more likely to go make that sandwich, play a game, do something other than work.

Trick yourself into being more productive in a short period of time

A great method to use is limiting the amount of time you work on a project. This will create a situation that you are pressed for time when you really aren’t. You might have a week to work on a project, but break up the time into short amounts. Perhaps you have a large paper due by next Monday. Here are a few tips to be more productive with your time:

1. Measure the time needed - You know that the paper will have to be five pages in merely a week. You know what you would be most comfortable producing, such as a page a day or even a half a page a day or more. Now that you know how much to get done each day you must decide how much time is required for each piece. Maybe producing a page would take an hour. The total amount of time should be only five hours.

2. Plan and assign a time to work on the project - You know that the project should take only five hours to complete, but if you were to attempt to sit down and do it all then it might not get done. I have trouble focusing on a project for an hour straight, but five hours is near impossible to be completely productive the whole time. There is no reason to waste time by being unproductive. Instead break up the task over a period you want, such as one hour devoted to the project a day. Plan for this hour, and make sure there are no distractions.

3. Using the time effectively - I have a bad habit of sitting down to work on something and having the best plan for what to do. Unfortunately sometimes I don’t do what I plan. I might sit there and stare at the computer for twenty minutes trying to form my ideas which makes the process take longer. If I think I am only going to work on the project for an hour and I don’t feel I have enough done in that hour I will stay there until I feel I have completed enough. This might be an extra hour or more. This tends to hurt my productivity because I am not using every minute as well as I could. Now that the project is only assigned an hour for this task, then that is all the time that we will use. This means if after an hour you only have half a page then you have to work harder in your hour tomorrow. You can write down any ideas for tomorrow, but try not to work on it anymore. You must use only the time that you have, and change to something else when the time is up.

Why you shouldn’t work longer

This starts to create a feeling that you really do have limited time even if you still have a week to do it. You are more likely to be productive in that next hour because you have a time frame. You will start to cherish that small amount of time to work. You won’t have to dread the task because you know it will only take as long as you want. You have to have realistic goals though. You can’t expect to produce a great paper in only twenty minutes a day. The short periods of intense work will work far better than long periods of small amount of productivity. You are more likely to come into the next hour of work with ideas and fuel to go the whole time if you know that you will be done at a set time. Set up a time period and start today!

We often wear masks in our daily lives. Someone might be quite playful in daily life, but they are forced to become mature in their job. They have to become someone they are not due to their job. This similar situation occurs in other interacts with other people. Someone might act different on a first date than they do with a spouse they have been with for years. They act in a different way because they don’t want to scare off someone. We act a different way in different situations, but this can be used to our advantage.

Out of a comfort zone

We pretend to be someone else when we are out of our comfort zone. We aren’t completely comfortable on a first date or in our jobs. This also applies to other social situations. If you are making a speech then you are surely out of your comfort zone. If you are in a job interview then you are out of your comfort zone. You are most likely lacking the confidence in these situations. The confidence that is lacking makes putting on a mask easier. You aren’t confident so you are trying to be someone you aren’t. You don’t have to be awkward in these situations because you are able to act confident even when you aren’t feeling confident at all.

Make your own confidence

You don’t have to feel awkward in uncomfortable situations. You are able to put on a different kind of mask to make others believe you are confident. Do you know what confidence looks like?

Stand straight and tall: Appearing to be larger than you feel will help make you feel more confident.

Smile: You can fool others that you are comfortable, and slowly the smile will become real.

Make eye contact: This is a good judge if someone is confident or not, because most unconfident people would be looking at the ground.

Think positively: This will help you start to feel the confidence, because you will be focusing on the positive rather than the negative. You focus on how the audience will love your speech rather than worrying about sounding horrible.

Speak up: You don’t mumble when you are sure about someone. You don’t come across as confident if you aren’t able to be heard. Speak loud even if you don’t want to be heard because you are embarrassed.

Continue to act as if you were confident. Copy the people around you that seem confident. Examine how people act when you view them as confident. Do they do anything that you admire? How can you tell when someone is confident? Can you copy these actions?

Act it out until you feel it

The nice thing about acting confident is that you will begin to feel real confidence. You are confident, so you can feel more comfortable in the situation. You do good job acting then you won’t need to worry about what others are thinking of you. You can feel less awkward the better at you getting with acting. I know that I am more confident in the middle of speech because I know that I can do it by then. If you have to start a speech by acting confident, then go ahead. Act as much as you need, but the nice part is the more you act the less you need to act. You begin to go with the flow of things and find out that the situation isn’t as bad as you imagined. At first it will be hard to act confident, but as you begin to go through the motions you will become more successful. Things start rough, but soon habits will form and things become easier.

You can use deception to your advantage in these ways. You can act the way that you want to be seen. If you want to be seen as a confident and friendly person, then act that way until it comes natural. You don’t have to have confidence to be confident, and that is the beauty of it. You just have to be a good actor, which if you are normal then you have had practice in job interviews and first dates. So, how do you want to be seen by other people? Do you want to be seen as cool and calm in the most stressed situations, then go ahead and go through the gestures and actions that you think would be considered calm and cool. You could be scared stiff inside, but just focus on your actions. Your actions in these situations will make your habits that become your personality. Have fun with it.

Photo by mulmatsherm

Most of us have a job that we continue to go to daily. I am assuming that at a job most of us get some sort of work done. The amount of work that we get done varies greatly, but the main point is that each of us achieves something at our job. By being at a job you can be quite productive, and in some cases more productive than when we are at home. No matter how much you dislike what you have to do at your job you are productive to some degree. This is due to being accountable for the amount of work that you produce.

Difference of work and home

When you are at home you are able to do whatever you want. You can watch TV as much as you wish or just sit in front of the computer until bed. In most cases there is no one looking over your shoulder finding out if you are doing something productive. You might have a spouse or roommate that does this, but let’s assume you aren’t being watched all the time you are home. You have the freedom to do what you want, and most of us abuse this freedom. I know that I will do what my boss wants while I am at work, but at home I will find it harder to motivate myself to do something. I am often unmotivated at work, but I am still responsible for the work I produce. No matter how much I rather not work, I still have to. This can work for all those projects that you should do but you really don’t want to. You have the fear of losing your job or not getting a raise at work if you are unproductive. At home you rarely have fears if you are unproductive. You might not make extra money because you never start the online business you always wanted, but you aren’t scared to lose that money that you haven’t had. No one is going to come to your house and fire you because you are sitting on the couch doing nothing. Here are a few steps that will make you accountable for the work you do at home.

1. Risk losing something.

At the job you risk losing your income if you don’t do anything, so make it a risk at home to be unproductive. This could be as simple as money or as big as your television. Find a friend and give them some amount of money that you would be uncomfortable losing, I would suggest as much as $100 dollars. Tell them that they can keep that money if you do not achieve some specific goal. This has to be a very detailed goal so that you and your friend know exactly if you succeed or not. Do not be vague such as “lose weight”, instead you want something measurable such as “lose 15 pounds in three months” or “run a mile every three days”. You don’t need to have a friend hold the money for you though, but you have to trust yourself to give the money away if you fail. You could decide to give the money to a charity if you do not achieve your goal, or something else. Perhaps you don’t have the money to do this with, but you do have a lot of items. You can give an item to a friend instead, but this item has to be of value for you. If you find yourself putting off things to watch TV then agree to give a friend your TV or donate it. This way if you do not do what you said, then you have no future distraction. This wouldn’t work well with something that you do not care much about, such as a light that you never use or an extra computer that you needed to get rid of. There has to be a risk in it for you.

2. Tell people about it

None of us like to be embarrassed by failing at something. If you tell all your friends that you are going to run a marathon then you will feel embarrassed if you don’t do it. If you just keep the goal to yourself then you will not feel pressure to succeed. I know that I was hesitating to tell people that I was beginning a raw diet because I didn’t know if I would be able to become fully raw. I would be reminded of my failure if anyone was to ask how I was doing at raw when I had failed at it. Once I started telling people that I was going to be fully raw I felt that I was committing to it far more than I did by myself. The harder the goal then the more public it should be. You might find it easier to stop a goal if you only told your friends, but it is harder when complete strangers know of you quitting too. Put up a sign on your car of your new goal. Make it a signature on all your emails. Tell everyone about your new goal. Go big. Make a shirt that has your goal on it, such as Café Press allows you to customize your own shirts. Use the goal itself, “I will lose 5 pounds, please encourage me” or something bigger “If I am not running right now, kick me” Put on that shirt often so that you can remember your commitment. Find other creative ways to make yourself follow through.

3. Devote time for your goal

This is pretty basic, but many people never make time for their goal. They just assume that time will find them. They will get around to that exercise schedule sometime. They will make a plan when they have more time. Work doesn’t allow you to only do something when you find the time. You have to show up each day and do something. It doesn’t matter if you want to go or not. You still have to go. Your goals should be like this. Set a time to do something productive. I suggest early morning so that you can get it out of the way and enjoy the rest of the day without the stress. Wake up early and do your goal for the allotted amount of time. Do the work that you need and get done. If you finish early, then you can clock out early. No more excuses, make time now.

4. Pretend someone is watching

Most likely you have a boss of some sort. This boss will review the work that you have produced. They often check to see if you are being productive. This works because you know that someone will be checking up on you, so you do your work. Apply the same idea at home by having a friend check up on you. They don’t need to come over every hour, but instead have a friend call you at the end of your scheduled time (see tip #3) and check how you did. You should have something to report in terms of progress. You can also track your own progress. I know that I will work harder if I think someone will actually check up on me. The same applied to school; you are working because you know the teacher will want to see results on a test.

5. Set deadlines and hold yourself to them

If we can something done anytime then we don’t feel the pressure. We will take our time, which means never doing it. We don’t have to get something done soon, then we are less likely to try to get it done. Think back to school when you would only do the project the day before you had to turn it in. You might have had four months available to do it, but you didn’t start it until the last minute. A job gives you deadlines to complete work, so you should do the same idea at home. If you want to lose weight, then make sure you lose something in a month. You want to train for a marathon then sign up for one. You have to be ready by that day. Sticking to the deadlines are harder. Try to associate some type of risk with missing your deadline (See tip #1).

6. Rewards

Once you have finally finished your project then reward yourself with something. The end result could be a reward enough though, such as being fitter or happier. If it was something that you need more of a reward to complete, then treat yourself to something. This is the reason you work, because of the reward of a paycheck. It seems to be a pretty big stimulator to go to work for 40 hours a work, so some reward will work for you. Maybe you can’t find the motivation to start a new business. Think of the extra money you will have and plan a trip with that extra money. Think of something that will motivate you to complete your task.
If you are able to be productive at your job, then you can be productive with your own time. Think of reasons for this productivity and try to apply it to other times. You might hate working, but there are reasons you keep doing it every day. Hopefully you will enjoy your goals a lot more than you enjoy your work. Unless you are one of the lucky few that enjoys their work. If so, can you apply that love of work to some other task?

Why do you allow yourself to think negative thoughts?

Your thoughts turn into your actions. These thoughts literally become a part of you. You will make yourself feel negative, you will make yourself feel inferior to others. You wouldn’t let others say bad things about you, so don’t do it to yourself. By being your own enemy then you allow yourself to only function at a portion of your capability. You can’t win if you only think about how you will lose. If you have willpower then you are able to change yourself. You decide what thoughts you entertain, so it only makes sense that you think of the positive instead. For example, if you want to plan a trip then you would think of all the exciting things you would do. You don’t want to dwell on thinking that the trip won’t happen because you will fulfill your own thoughts. You will sabotage the trip since you won’t be planning and thinking of ways to do it. Instead you are thinking of why it will not happen and this will make it not happen.

Have Courage in Yourself

Hiding in the corner will only help you continue to hide in the corner. Negative thoughts are like hiding in the corner. You are scared you will fail, so you don’t do anything. Have some confidence in yourself and courage, then you will be able to achieve more. Once you begin to want something you will start to visualize it. This visualize will take you down two different paths. If you are using positive thinking then you will see yourself achieving this goal, but if you aren’t then you will see yourself not achieving it. If you see yourself achieving the goal then you will start to commit to it. This will bring you closer to success just by the thoughts you have. You bring yourself farther from success when you refuse to think of success. Start off on the right foot and think positively. You have done things in the past to be proud of; I know this because everyone has. You have wonderful qualities, so focus on them. If all you do is focus on the few things you don’t have then you cannot see all the great things you do have.

Instant Results

Think of something that you failed at. Focus on it. It’s easy to feel the disappointment. Now, think about it as a learning experience. You won’t make the same mistake again, and next time you can succeed. Feel a little better now? That is the power that everyone knows about positive thinking. There is no reason to have negative thoughts when you know that it is only ruining your happiness. It is similar to hitting your head on the wall. You know that it hurts and it causes damage, but you continue to do it. Stop today. Allow your thoughts to come to you as normal, but when something negative surfaces just acknowledge that you are having a negative thought and replace it with the opposite. One example is when you are starting a project. Maybe you have to write a report. You start to think how hard it will be. You start having the negative thought, but you just let it flow past and replace it with a thought of the happy feeling of having the project finished after you start it. You might dwell on what someone will think of it, but you can replace that thought with one of how much someone will like it. It’s easy to know what to do, but implanting this is harder. It will take practice but there are many benefits.

Often we are quick to take out our anger on someone else, and sometimes this person had no part in creating the anger. They are only people that are close by at the time. We refuse to accept that problems are our faults. This would hurt our ego if we were able to admit that we made a mistake. So, we try to cover up the mistake that we made by blaming others. This is like trying to yell at a tree when you crashed your car into it. You blame the tree, but really the accident was your fault.

The downfalls of blaming others

If you continue to blame others, then how can you ever improve yourself? You expect other people to improve since they are the ones that are fault for your problems. If someone runs into you while you were trying to text message someone then you blame them for running into you while you weren’t watching. You go on texting after this since you don’t think your behavior was at fault. You aren’t taking the blame, or admitting that you have a fault. It reminds me of the twelve step program where you must admit that you are an alcoholic. You have to take blame for your actions to be able to change

The reasons for blaming others

You are taking the blame away from yourself. Sometimes we do this enough that we really begin to believe it. We truly believe it was the clerk’s fault that the item won’t ring up, instead of the reason being our fault for failing to write down the correct number. We are able to be perfect, because we never made the mistake. We are putting up a fake show for others around us. We want others to think that we are perfect, so we try to convince others that we are never at fault, or else we can’t be perfect. We try to repress the idea that we failed at something. This translates into many areas in life. We blame the train for being slow, while we should have left earlier. It doesn’t make sense to blame the wind for blowing over your paper house, instead you should think harder for ways to protect against the wind.

The benefits of stop blaming others

Once you are able to blame yourself then you can take the steps to stop from messing up. You don’t have to get angry at yourself, but accept the small inconveniences. We shouldn’t direct our anger towards others, and we shouldn’t direct it towards ourselves. We should learn to accept these things, but we cannot accept until we stop placing blame. You aren’t accepting something fully if you are still blaming the other person. Once you take action to place the blame on yourself, then you can take the action to let it go. Your car might break down, but you don’t need to blame the car, or the road. Just remember that you should have had it tuned up a while ago, but you kept putting it off.You focusing on the internal world works a lot better than focusing totally on the external world. All the improvements will come from the inside. You shouldn’t punish yourself, but merely accept the situation. You are able to do more from focusing on the internal world, since you have full control over that. You don’t have full control over the external world.

Sometimes we are unable to see that we reacted without knowing all the facts. We might not know that the man did not know he was being rude by leaning on your new car. We didn’t know that the woman was rushing to get to the hospital when she ran into someone and ran off without an apology. We don’t always know the full details and we are quick to jump to conclusions that it is their fault, but in the end it is our fault for jumping to the conclusion in the first place. We are the ones to blame, and we should blame ourselves for it. We shouldn’t beat ourselves up for it, but we should at least place blame on the right person, since it isn’t going to be any help to us to blame someone else. It is merely a waste our time. Guard your time wisely; it is far more valuable than to be spent on anger.

The Joker in The Dark Night invokes intense emotions. He is quite the force for Batman to fight because of his overwhelming personality. But, the question comes to mind what makes the Joker so successful? He might be the villain, but I find many admirable things about him. Here is a list of traits that each of us might take note of.

1.    Money doesn’t buy happiness

The moment I saw the Joker burn his money I knew there was a deep lesson in him. Can you ever say that you would do that? Now, we must remember the Joker was a wee bit insane; however the Joker showed that his actions provided enough pleasure rather than the profit. He had found his calling in life which gave him enough happiness that money couldn’t buy. He only needed the little things in life (bullets and explosives). Is there anything in your life that you would be willing to not make much money doing? Could you follow your dream of photography if it meant that you would only be making enough to live on? Your dreams might cost you money, but they might make you far happier than money.

2.    Passion

Passion separates the novice from the expert. This is the secret ingredient to success. If you are passionate (obsessed) enough then you can achieve it. The Joker easily shows his passion to cause chaos. He has nothing else to do but cause chaos. He doesn’t work 9 to 5 and save his trouble making time until the weekend. He drops everything and follows his dream. He lives for the games he plays. He is able to do anything because he is passionate enough to do anything to achieve his goals. When have you found something to be that passionate about? Did you drop –everything- for it? It seems unrealistic to give up life for a passion, but look around you. The Olympics are almost over, but each of those people has a passion. They do try to train for the Olympics after work. They don’t only devote an hour a day to training. They go full force, and they become the best in the world. The same is true for people like Bobby Fischer. He didn’t play chess a few games a day. He lived for chess. When he wasn’t playing chess, he was thinking about chess. Imagine what you could do if you were that passionate with something you love

3.    Best to not try if you will give up

The Joker doesn’t decide to give up once he is thrown in jail. He doesn’t give up when he can’t seem to get to Batman. He keeps on trying. He states that he will keep up this game with Batman until the end. He doesn’t allow setbacks to deter him. He gets foiled, but he just gets up with a laugh and goes out to do it again. Failure is just a process that leads to success if you keep trying. You can’t expect to succeed in every endeavor the first time; instead you can expect to gain ground if you keep trying.  You lose a game, so play again and you keep playing until you win.  If you are thinking of starting your own business then you have to be able to take the failures. You will have to keep adjusting until you start making a profit. Failure isn’t forever.

4.    Creativity can go a long way

You can’t expect to cause terror in a whole city with a simple gun or shooting. You have to do things that aren’t expected and will be exciting. This is how the best people will make success for them. They make a new path. Robbing a bank? Why not use a school bus to blend in. If the Joker would have used a normal getaway then he would have been caught. The best things are possible if you are able to be creative and apply new ideas to old techniques. You can make money from home, so why not think of a creative way to make more money from home. Perhaps you find a better product to market from home. You have to set yourself from the rest of the group in order to achieve more.  You have to find creative ways to achieve your dreams, because sometimes you won’t have the choice otherwise. You can’t afford to spend a month in Europe? Get creative and decide to  get a contact in Europe and offer your services, such as finding a person that needs someone to clean their house and they have an extra room. You have enough money to eat on and entertain yourself, but the cost of finding a room is harder. You just solved that problem with a creative approach instead of just getting a cheap hotel room. Find a new path when everyone else is treading the same old path.

5.    A laugh can go a long way

An article about the Joker isn’t complete without mentioning laughter. He doesn’t get stressed out. He finds the fun in each situation. He is so entertaining because he is always in a joking mood. This is his character, but it makes sense. He is able to have fun and play his games. He truly enjoys what he does, which is shown. He can laugh when others wouldn’t laugh. He can laugh in the face of death. He always finds a reason to have a laugh. I think we could all use a little laughter a bit more. If we take ourselves too seriously then we will miss enjoying life. You are wasting your life being depressed when you could be happy. You can still find the funny things in the worst situations. Life is funny, so why so serious?

I am not suggesting that anyone should try to copy the Joker. His actions aren’t admirable, but his personality traits are something that should be examined. He is able to be the villain that you can’t help but feel in awe of. He does a better job than Batman in invoking emotion, I think. So, think a little about these traits and see if you can apply any to your life. Go out and find your passion, and please have a laugh while doing it.