Designing Your Life

Make A Small Difference

// March 25th, 2009 // No Comments » // relationships

A friend was walking down a deserted Mexican beach at sunset. As he walked along, he began to see another man in the distance. As he grew nearer, he noticed that the local native kept leaning down, picking something up and throwing it out into the water. Time and again he kept hurling things out into the ocean. As my friend approached even closer, he noticed that the man was picking up starfish that had washed up on the beach, and, one at a time, he was throwing them back into the water. My friend was puzzled.
He approached the man and said. “Good evening, friend. I was wondering what you are doing.”
“I’m throwing these starfish back into the ocean. You see, it’s low tide right now and all of these starfish have been washed up onto the shore. If I don’t throw them back into the sea, they’ll die up here from lack of oxygen.”
“I understand,” my friend replied, “but there must be thousands of starfish on this beach. You can’t possibly get to all of them. There are simply too many. And don’t you realize this is probably happening on hundreds of beaches all up and down this coast. Can’t you see that you can’t possibly make a difference?”
The local native smiled, bent down and picked up yet another starfish, and as he threw it back into the sea, he replied, “Made a difference to that one!”



There is the assumption that a small action will not make any difference. This is a horrible thought because then no action is taken, which ensures that no difference is made. We should try to make small differences, because these can be the most important to someone. If you experience someone going out of their way to help you, then it makes a difference to you.

There is an expectation to help everyone

You don’t have to save the world to make a difference. It is hard to accept sometimes that we don’t have to make a difference to a lot of people in order to help. I know that I would love to reach out and help a lot of people, but sometimes this isn’t always possible. It is possible to help one person though. Perhaps even a few people, but it doesn’t have to be everyone.


We lose sight that a few people are still people . They matter, they count, and they should be cared for. It is wonderful to try to help all the starving kids in Africa, but simply helping one child in Africa is a wonderful thing. Don’t forget that you are still helping one person at a time. If you are able to help one person a day for the rest of your life then that begins to make a huge difference soon.

It’s like a friendship, It’s intimate

You have no idea how happy it makes me when someone goes out of their way to help only me. They simply do it from the kindness of their heart. It makes more of a difference to me than someone that helps me simply because I am part of a group of people that they are trying to help.
Think of your friends. You normally don’t try to help all of them by one big action; instead you will help each one that needs it. People are unique and often their problems are unique. You shouldn’t ignore the fact that one solution for one person will not work for the next. My friends are not all the same and I know that I cannot solve each of their problems with one simple solution.

Ways to help someone

Sometimes no one needs help, but they could use a little lift in their day. Try to do something out of the ordinary, such as stopping to help them with something. I don’t mean do something that is very unique, I mean do something that isn’t expected. These are the best gifts you can give to someone.

You might know someone that really needs help. They might be homeless, hungry, depressed, jobless, or something else. You don’t have to solve the homeless problem; instead you should simply help one homeless person or two. It doesn’t matter that you can’t help everyone, it matters that you helped someone. You made a difference to one person.

Together, We make a large difference

It’s the old idea, if everyone contributes then it starts to add up. It is true, but the problem is not everyone will contribute. Ignore that fact and keep helping, because you might just inspire someone to help someone else. Your actions could go farther than you might think. I know if someone helped me I feel more inclined to help someone out later. You never know what kind of difference you really do make.




Photo by Topyti

Scary Thing to Do: Talk to Strangers

// January 8th, 2009 // No Comments » // Personal Development, relationships

I am quite the introverted person. I do like to spend a majority of my time alone and I don’t meet a lot of new people due to this. Relationships are to be valued and I want to try to make many more in the upcoming months. My new habit will be attempting to make conversation with at least one new person a day. It isn’t a large goal, but it is a bit hard for me.

The biggest issue is attempting to find the right place to approach people. I don’t know if I would have success trying to make conversation in a supermarket or a café. I would like to stay away from parties if possible, since I don’t care for them. Although I must admit they do provide a perfect place to meet new people which are one of the draws to them.

First, I have to figure out the type of person I want to meet . I won’t enjoy myself if I am meeting the wrong type of person. I like someone who I can carry on a conversation. I am most likely to find these people in cafés, gyms, and class. I doubt I would have as much success going to a party or a concert. These are good places to meet people, but I wouldn’t share the interest with the person. I might be lucky to find someone with common interests but I rather have a higher chance of success. So, first step is to get a hobby and find a gathering place.

Next is to slowly ease into talking to total strangers. Start with ‘hi’ and work your way up . You can say hi to anyone, this doesn’t take much effort or risk but it provides a place to start. You might get lucky and find a talkative person that will provide the conversation with a mere introduction, other times you will have to work harder to establish a conversation.

If you have taken a step to try to carry on a conversation then the choice of topic might be hard. This is one of the hardest parts for me. It is awesome if you find some unique thing to open with. Perhaps you should start with people that provide some type of conversation opener, such as unique clothing, jewelry, action, and so on. You won’t have to worry as much as what to talk about which will allow you to slowly gain more confidence. As you feel more comfortable you can approach people that are harder to start a conversation with. Major events are always an easy choice as well as their likes and dislikes. Test the waters; throw out a lot of different subjects that interest you, such as talk briefly about traveling, exercising, diet, and so on. When you hit a common interest then go from there. I may approach someone in the supermarket if they are buying a unique product and then ask about their diet. This can easily lead to a conversation to my diet of raw food. Raw food is a great way to have a conversation because many people will be interested how I even survive. Find common ground and go from there.

If you are lucky enough to carry on a conversation then you might want to suggest another meeting if you are really hitting it off or some form of future communication. Thanks to the internet you might find this part easy. Asking if you can connect with them on Facebook or Myspace is an easy non-threatening way to have a future connection with them. If they don’t have these then it is possible to ask for a phone number if you feel comfortable enough. This step isn’t required of course, if you don’t feel there is any reason to continue talking then you can thank them for the chat and be on your way. It’s up to you how to proceed.

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Tips to talking to strangers

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You will be rejected quite a bit. It stings even if you know it will happen, but you miss 100% of the shots you never take. You won’t know that person unless you try to talk to them. If they reject your efforts then you are merely where you would be if you hadn’t even tried. You will have some people that you really connect with and these make the efforts worthwhile.

People are friendly . I don’t know many people that are rude enough to tell you off for even trying to talk to them. Most will engage in a conversation of some sort and won’t insult you.

You won’t be laughed at. The person that you approach will most likely feel more embarrassed about what they say then worrying about what you say. In the end you aren’t likely to meet the person again if it is a random place so there aren’t any lasting effects. If you try to meet people in class then you will still see them regularly but you won’t have to interact with them again unless you choose to. Sooner or later you will go your separate ways. People won’t gossip about you as the weird one that talks to people. If anything you will be admired for taking the effort.

Making new friends open up different ideas and perspectives. You might want to try to meet people you normally wouldn’t talk to. You might be surprised how much you have in common after all. Leave comments on any attempts or suggestions.

Photo by pjmorse