Aug 26 2008

The Need to Stop Placing Blame

I work as a cashier at a home improvement store and I meet a lot of people each day. It never fails to amaze me how often people get upset about things that were caused by themselves. They might forget to write down the number of how many screws they get and become angry at me for their mistake, or they could get the wrong item and become frustrated when they find out that I had already rung up the item that they failed to tell me that they did not want. This gives me insight on the importance of taking responsibility for my actions. We shouldn’t be so quick to blame people for our own mistakes.

Often we are quick to take out our anger on someone else, and sometimes this person had no part in creating the anger. They are only people that are close by at the time. We refuse to accept that problems are our faults. This would hurt our ego if we were able to admit that we made a mistake. So, we try to cover up the mistake that we made by blaming others. This is like trying to yell at a tree when you crashed your car into it. You blame the tree, but really the accident was your fault.

The downfalls of blaming others

If you continue to blame others, then how can you ever improve yourself? You expect other people to improve since they are the ones that are fault for your problems. If someone runs into you while you were trying to text message someone then you blame them for running into you while you weren’t watching. You go on texting after this since you don’t think your behavior was at fault. You aren’t taking the blame, or admitting that you have a fault. It reminds me of the twelve step program where you must admit that you are an alcoholic. You have to take blame for your actions to be able to change

The reasons for blaming others

You are taking the blame away from yourself. Sometimes we do this enough that we really begin to believe it. We truly believe it was the clerk’s fault that the item won’t ring up, instead of the reason being our fault for failing to write down the correct number. We are able to be perfect, because we never made the mistake. We are putting up a fake show for others around us. We want others to think that we are perfect, so we try to convince others that we are never at fault, or else we can’t be perfect. We try to repress the idea that we failed at something. This translates into many areas in life. We blame the train for being slow, while we should have left earlier. It doesn’t make sense to blame the wind for blowing over your paper house, instead you should think harder for ways to protect against the wind.

The benefits of stop blaming others

Once you are able to blame yourself then you can take the steps to stop from messing up. You don’t have to get angry at yourself, but accept the small inconveniences. We shouldn’t direct our anger towards others, and we shouldn’t direct it towards ourselves. We should learn to accept these things, but we cannot accept until we stop placing blame. You aren’t accepting something fully if you are still blaming the other person. Once you take action to place the blame on yourself, then you can take the action to let it go. Your car might break down, but you don’t need to blame the car, or the road. Just remember that you should have had it tuned up a while ago, but you kept putting it off.You focusing on the internal world works a lot better than focusing totally on the external world. All the improvements will come from the inside. You shouldn’t punish yourself, but merely accept the situation. You are able to do more from focusing on the internal world, since you have full control over that. You don’t have full control over the external world.

Sometimes we are unable to see that we reacted without knowing all the facts. We might not know that the man did not know he was being rude by leaning on your new car. We didn’t know that the woman was rushing to get to the hospital when she ran into someone and ran off without an apology. We don’t always know the full details and we are quick to jump to conclusions that it is their fault, but in the end it is our fault for jumping to the conclusion in the first place. We are the ones to blame, and we should blame ourselves for it. We shouldn’t beat ourselves up for it, but we should at least place blame on the right person, since it isn’t going to be any help to us to blame someone else. It is merely a waste our time. Guard your time wisely; it is far more valuable than to be spent on anger.

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